seasons greetings

Merry Christmas

and

Blessed New Year 2010

u and me. it's over!!!

it's over. U and me. it's over.

yes you've got me right...

You and me, it's over!!

getting it right on track. it's absolutely over. no more late nights. no more drama. no more emotions overwrite. no more ache. no more staying up with u. no more crushing me. =P

moving on is what I need. can't wait for this coming Friday so i can have some peace of mind. oh i know, you will leave a trail for me in the holidays hovering over me like a 10 tonnes of concrete weighing on me. but i will get over u and be done with. im so right on track, i know it because i can taste the freedom. it's getting very very close. i promise i wont miss you. you are not my food. you are not my drink. you are not my support. you are not my love. it may be a long process to get over u. but i can live with that in a short term. no worries.

you my dear, assignments. goodbye.

holidays. Hello... are w.e.l.c.o.m.e.!!

mingle lingle

it's 5.23 a.m. staring blankly at the screen. blurr. sleepy. bored. another nightful, loadful and handful of work mingling around for me to finish.

i just need a break.

silence. stillness. i love the cool breeze in the morning, taste the fresh air.. mmmm.. i work better this way. im a night owl. yay tomorrow is the last day! looking forward to home.

after the great long summer break, it's still not enough. year 3 is a bit of a drag for my countdown to freedom. though i will miss my student life but im not regretting it, im very looking forward to what's ahead of me. im not a study type material, mmm not my cup of tea. im not excited or bothered or hate or love my assignments. just not my thing. diploma or no diploma. degree or no degree. it doesn't make any difference to me. i know it's not clear to where im heading but just looking forward is something hopeful for me. im just stalling of what's ahead of me. taking on my own sweet pace. bah.

wandering what's ahead of me. unbelievable scary, not!

i went singapore 2 weeks ago. a lot has change since 2000 =) .. is still very very clean, expensive no doubt about that. advance and fast. i love the transportation system. makes it easier for those who does not own a car. always a walking distance. fully air-condition. even in an open space, it's still air-condition. wow. gasp. they are having their own version of las vegas soon near the marina barrage. did not shop. just walk and walk till my knee gave way. LOL.

it's now 6am.. wow took me 30 minutes to slowly breathe out my words on screen. kheng! im a snail, tortoise and a camel. =P so ya i need to get back to my work.

urgh.

waiting...

hi there!

Not been blogging since summer holiday started. So decided to update on certain stuff.

1. Been busy doing nothing at all.

2. Been busy being a photographer. (fobissea games)

3. Been busy lying around the house playing Sims2.

4. Been busy EATING... hee hee

5. Been busy driving around.

6. Been busy watching movies.

7. Been busy sleeping... Loving it!

So yup.. been busy doing nothing at all. It's been great!!
No assignments!!

I will upload some pictures soon..

im almost there

its almost over.. yay yay... 2 week countdown of the end of year 2.. awesome!! no more assignments for 4 months, summer break.. =D

Im looking forward for my holidays. Supposedly to go for internship. After some thought, I dont think I want to. I want to do some soul searching, which means.. rest and relax.. holidaying!!! =D hopefully.

After my presentation, I will need to sweep away my rubbish.. currently my room is infested with cutboards and papers. It's scattered around. And will need to re-stock!!! yup.. re-stock my stationary. I need to do some stationary shopping after that.. and clean house! throwing away old stuff. Won't be needing models dee.. =D, most probably recycle it!

And I'll be home soon! wee~~.. Penang... I think I gotta take it slow... don't want to indulge the food all at once hehe... Maybe work freelance. Or just laze around. Do chores. Buy DVDs haha.. watch drama series... yes yes.. thats what im gonna do... hahaha... learn some cooking from my grandma.. yes yes.. so i wont have to repeat the same food i eat over hear in KL... kinda Jelak dee.. blek.... XD.. hangout!!!! oh yes hopefully i can catch up with my college mates and school mates... school mates coming back soon... wee~~ miss them so much...

or maybe will take up some photography course from my ex-lecturer... I wonder how much does it cost... hmmmmm... oooo and most probably explore my SLR camera... yes yes.. I got new toy to play until i get bored of it... hehe... and need to brush up my photoshop skills... haih.. its so rusty... need to explore more on that...

And prepare myself for year 3. Oh boy, year 3~ I heard it's tough.. more models, more detailed drawings.. aiyaiyai.... dont care for now.. want to concentrate on playing hard now and work hard later hahaha.....

most probably go gym and do facial... facial.. omgosh.. long time i have not visited my facial specialise... me face looks so horrible now... pimples and black heads... hmmm sad sad..... and menicure and pedicure.. basically im gonna pamper myself once and for all... hehehe... till then...


need to continue my assignments... my hands are numb...

prototype

the prototype that i've been doing lately..
playing with the camera... hehe
it's done!! =D

my struggle

In recent days, I was earnestly searching for an answer. I search for answer of the world that kept me really confused. I am really desperate to find a way out for an answer. But I was seeking from all wrong places. I was listening to the voice that irritates me, I wasn't listening to the one that comforts me. I plead God to help me. I knew He was listening to my heart's cry, but He was just waiting for me to let Him speak. Till today.

As i awoke uninterrupted, i just sat on the bed in silence thinking again about the struggles. So at the edge of the bed, i was praying in silence.. something in me was heavy, I couldn't get myself to speak out. I just kept in silence, waiting for an answer. Then I looked up and saw my Bible. I picked up and randomly flip through to see if God has an answer for me. I came across this passage.

Romans 12.2..
Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God - what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.

I knew in my heart, that was the scripture God is revealing to me. I sense warmth in my heart. But i needed assurance. So i kept in silence. I ran to my laptop and decided to check my mail. And there is was, the assurance. It's from a bulletin I subscribe 2 days ago.

"Watch for an attack of the enemy that will make you feel that you have strayed from My purpose. You may have gone off the beaten path, but the unusual things you are experiencing now will give you the ability to see from a different perspective. The more and varied ways you can look at your situation, the better able you are to discern with clarity. Don't be afraid to look, really look at your circumstances with an eye to make necessary adjustments at this juncture in your life, says the Lord. Trust that your times and seasons are in My hand."

Psalms 94:17 - 19
If the Lord had not helped me, I would have gone quickly to the land of silence. I said, "I am falling"; but your constant love, O Lord, help me up. Wherever I am anxious and worried, you comfort me and make me glad.

And my day couldn't get any better, still with the struggle. John said hi. He shared with me some similar things that I could relate with him. His testimony gave me the courage that I was in the right path. That I wasn't alone and insane. Though the situation wasn't the same, but it was the way he handled things encourage me to Trust God fully and surrender my struggles.

Hebrew 13.9
Do not let all kinds of strange teachings lead you from the right way. It is good to receive inner strength from God's grace, and not by obeying about foods (worldly teachings); those who obey these rules have not been helped by them.

Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart. And God's peace, which is far beyond human understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with Christ Jesus.

God kept reminding me to trust Him, believe in Him. But I refused, eventhough I want to and I just don't know how to. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I had struggled to do so. Something in my heart was not settling for His answer yet, unless I truely poured out my heart to Him with a pure heart. I was bombarding rubbish to my mind, that I pass away the good things God installed for me. God revealed to me today is simple and yet satisfying compared to the couple of days that I seek answers from worldly point of view. Now I know the enemy has put wrong thoughts in my mind, and eventually my faith begin to decrease. The devil had really kept my mind busy with the wrong kinds of thinking so that my mind never goes around to being used for the purpose for which God designed it.

It's easy to say this, oh yes of course I trust God. But when Im in this real situation, I really learn a lot by trusting Him. I don't think God purposely put me in this situation just to see me suffer. He put me there so that I may learn to trust Him. I really don't know what will my situation turn out to be but Im still learning to trust Him and not conform to the world.

I just want to end this by quoting this scripture, which happens to be my favourite one..

Matthew 6:33
But seek first the Kingdom of God and His reighteousness and everything shall be added unto you.

presents

Canon EOS D350.. good enough =D

the key.. and a dragonfly necklace.. cute =P

the homemade card that the they wrote.. =)

a closer view of what they wrote.. =.=

our official card reader.. Ms.Eunice for every special occasion XD


hmm the evil plot.. see that cupcake on Leo's hand.. its a bad sign..!!
that was on my face =.='

that is for Daniel's 18th birthday.. we celebrated together =P hugs

that's for steven..

it was pure joke and laughs.. XD

My 21st Birthday

yes yes I've been waiting to turn 21 since few years back, when i discovered my purpose as a born again Christian. My life has been amazingly meaningful and blessed in so many ways. I had friends who supported me through my ups and downs. Without them I dont think i'll be here today!

So, I went back to Penang for my 21st Birthday celebration. I had seafood with family and close friends, thats how I wanted it to be. Simple and nice. Not to mention, dad bought me SLR camera!! though its a second hand, but i love it... coz its SLR!!! its good enough for me... Im so HAPPY, thanks dad... and Mike, Ryan, Daniel, Leo and Lim composed a birthday song for me as a present, coz they dono what to get me, but it was so sweet.. the best birthday present!!! quite cute la... thanks guys, HUGS... =D

later that evening after seafood, we (me, ryan, mike, christina and daniel) head down to PSC for couple of drinks, drank my favourite baileys..mmm.... then we head down to the dam for a walk, just park the car along side the dam and just talked... the sky was full of stars that night.. beautiful..=D

And the next day, I had sushi buffet with Mike and Ryan for free =D or i thought so =P... well it was a surprise.. =).. we ate about 29 pink plates and 6 green plates... thats a LOT..!! total 35 plates, plus udon noddles.. full to the max!!! and the best part is after sushi, we had new zealand ice-cream!! mmmm yummy... but mike only got to ate one tiny bite, coz he was at the ogawa, sleeping. =.=".... then me, ryan and daniel went coffee bean after that. The usuals..

thats 26 plates and 6 green plates


me and ryan taking a picture break..


going queensbay for coffee bean

ryan with his alien fluffy toy

mike with his nerdy toy

After coffee bean, we rushed back to pack our stuff for music camp!! head down to Shalom's anniversary. Then rushed back to music camp.. friday night at camp was nice too... i was able to catch up with the rest of them, chit chatting all the way...laughing my head off.. all thanks to leo and mike... and Lim's green face! XD.. we didnt sleep the whole night, stayed awake till about 7am, went out for breakfast... ate beehoon mee of all things.. LOL.. and slept after that till about late afternoon.. got up went out again to buy some grocery...came back ate dinner and worship...

killing me softly with cupcake.. =.=


christina joins in.. ='(

and after worship, there was another "surprise"... the famous master mind Leo the hamtaro, sang the "sui cha bo" song and smash the pretty lil cupcake on my face..!!! =.=..... u wait LEO!! u will kena soon!!!!! after that, i had to chase everyone with the remaining cupcake on my hands, and smash it on them..Daniel was the first one(he was helping Leo at the time to smash cake on me), then ryan(he didnt know i was coming in front of him, and i just rub the cake on his face hehe), then mike (he was very innocently eating at that time), then adrian (on the neck) and then steven (on the hands) and lastly Leo, he was hiding, i waited for the enemy to come out of the room.. at last, he was in the toilet washing up, i smash him on the face!!! mission accomplish, i was satisfied LOL.. then i went and wash up....hmm after that, we just sat down and stayed up all nite chit chatting....drinking sparkling juice.. eating ice...and it was morning at 8am, i had to head back to the miserable KL life again.. ='(

The most important thing is I had fun during my birthday, I had 3 days straight of birthday celebration..!! I likey.. =D I'm lovin' it..

A big THANK U to u guys.... HUGS~~

what is love, friendship and life to you?

there was once, someone ask me this question.. what is love, friendship and life to you?

my answer was..

To me God is Love. And God made everything out of Love. Through his Love he created all things. Through all things were made are out of His Love for us all. So if God made everything out of Love. Then God made friendship to be loving. If God made life, God made a loving life.

and through Him we are made to worship HIM the Almighty, God of love. So with Love, we are one in Christ Jesus. Without this Love, we are nothing. Without this Love, we cant have friendship. Without this Love, we have no life. Without this Love, we hate. we lie. we decieve.

So what is Love? God is Love. God is everything. =D

God Bless with Love. =)

wallpaper

everyday, early in the morning. I remind myself these 3 important verses.

L.O.V.E
is patient. kind. it is not jealous / conceited / proud.
is not ill-mannered / selfish/ irritable.
does not keep record of wrong things.
is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth.
never gives up; its faith. hope. & patience
never fails.
1. Corinthians 13: 4-7


F.A.I.T.H
keep on working with your fear and trembling
to complete your salvation
because God is always at work in you
to make you willing to obey His own purpose.
Phillipians 2: 12-13


H.O.P.E
we are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in despair, there are many enemies,
but we are never without a friend,
and
though badly hurt at times,
we are not destroyed.
2 Conrinthians 4: 8-9


it's not easy. I have weakness, and I claim these 3 verses to go through hardship.
it helps me. hope it helps you too. cheers~

assignments

I'm about to explode! The amount of assignments that KBU are offering is so out of the league. The time given is unreasonable. The preparation stages are not enough to cover all topics. They trying to squeeze everything into one tiny lil' box.

As much as I appreciate the design learning outcome, i really do. It's not worth damaging my health, late nights, sleepless nights. =.=

The list of workload...
1. Autocad drawings - 2 layout Plans, 4 Sections, 4 Elevations (tolerable)
2. Models - 3 concept models, 3 sketch models, 1 development model (bigger than A3 size), 1 cut sectional model (this is really really dumb, almost the size of an A2 paper..imagine bigger than your mahjong paper)
3. Prototype model (tolerable)
4. 3D perspective drawings - 3 to 6 pieces (depending on the areas)

my previous sectional model

I can tolerate most of the work given but not sectional model. Seriously, we surely have to produce section drawings, which is fine because it's standard procedure. Sectional model, whats that? And I didn't ask the lecture why we have to do sectional model, for those who are in the lecture hall today. But in my heart, I'm asking why! In reality it is enough for a constructor to read the drawings and build the design. He don't have to look at the sectional model and construct. Just in my opinion, not to offend anyone out there. It's not the time management, it's time consuming doing models. Even the experts in model making says its time consuming. Not time management. Don't judge the book by its cover, don't look at my model and say I didn't do my work.. It's time consuming! And the model marks are pulling me down.

I'm not judging KBU is a nut freak Uni. She's the best designing school in Malaysia has to offer. I've learn so much about design concept, elements. It makes me think outside the box most of the time. I give credit for that!! I love the sketchbook idea. For one I love sketching. Putting research and sketches in one book, great idea. I just love it.

I really respect the KBU students, their ideas is WOW!! The forms and function, you don't see that in other designing schools. Their creativity level is what I call, utilizing God given ability to the fullest!! WOW!! I'm thankful that I had this opportunity to discover the other side of exploration in designing.

Alright, enough of complaining and praising LOL.. I need to get back to work.

I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.

I wanna go home

Not a single moment i dont think of my home, Penang.

i miss...

the food
mom's car (its hard to travel without it especially in KL)
friends (Mike, Ryan, Daniel.. my gurlfrens..Celina, Wan Ting, Priscilla, Sharon..)
my bed
the life in Penang (just doing my own thing)
not spending money (yes, i dont pay a cent in penang haha)
no assignments (KBU is for robots)
not doing chores
socializing (i really do now appreciate socializing)
watching movies wherever I want to
no responsibilities (which often gets me into trouble)
night life (haha not clubbing..just chill at mamaks for old time sake)
music youth camp (seriously i wish i can go every month)
my keyboard (apparently hehe..mike wud be happy to hear this)
hitz.fm channel (its quiet in KL without it)
coffee bean, ananda, my fav kopitiam, sushi!!



Not forgetting KL life.. likes and dislikes
im gonna miss when i leave KL (LIKES) =D
my cousins
my freedom (without parents nagging me and monitoring every single move I make)
my big room (with air-con and the whole room to myself)
take my own sweet time doing things (without parents nagging me hehe)
waking up late and sleeping late (in Penang i have to wake up at 6am if i want to use the car which often i do need it)
24/7 access to free wireless connection


NOT gonna miss (DISLIKES)

assignments (again KBU are for robots)
being alone in my room (basically staring at the laptop 24/7.. yup thats my life in KL)
MODELS
(i dont get it why KBU's dedicating their very sweet precious time doing stupid models and in the end of the day.. ur gonna throw it away.. not forgetting global warming.. I HATE IT SO MUCH... you stupid irritating system.. get a LIFE!!!)
having to walk from my house to Centerpoint to One Utama to KBU (sucks)
eating bread every single day
biscuits
maggie mee (my so-called emergency food when I dont have time to cook a proper meal during rushing hour assignmen-sing!!)
crappy toilet that sometimes dont function well
oh yes! expensive KL expanses
the ridiculous RM6 per meal


what I learn (bring back to Penang and apply it)

to be responsible for my own actions
exercising
daily devotional (reading the Word)
my daily walk with God (in my own personal way)
to not be self-centered
love unconditionally
to battle my way through in hardship and not give up hope
faith
socialising more often
talk more
confidence
discipline


basically i want to live a balance and healthy life. =D

2008 bloggie

Its been a long time since my last blog. Year 2008 started pretty smooth. A lot of changes in me. I learn for a fact that, its pointless to strive for the same reason as sitting there being lazy. Just have to get off ur butt and move and go with the flow and make good decision that benefits ur future. Dont do it for self, but help others. But dont neglect own needs for the damage will do u no good. So in another words, have a balance life. Not talking about taking up yogas or some ying yang class. Just know what is your limit and dont overstress. No point being in a rat race, in the end u be chasing ur own tail. I learn that its really waste of time feeling sorry for urself, becoz peeps will only give u only that moment of attention on you and after that they dont really give a damn. And no point running away from ur problems. It will always be there till u sweep it away in a rubbish bin. For all I know, it is very difficult and hard.. but once u stand firm and press on.. yup its a good feeling and feels like freedom. For some of you who know me, I may appear cheerful and happy go lucky gurl and laughs a lot. And for some of you who knows me in and out haha.. U really do see me in and out. And I am grateful for those who stand beside me eventhough Im not always the best person to tolerate with hehe. U know.. hehe.. And I learned my greatest lesson of all.. Is to be thankful for what you’ve got and Praise the Creator of all time. For even your lowest point of life tho it is not a very nice moment to be in, Praise the Lord. For it is where I learn all my valuable lesson.

:: remember who you are::

How great is the love of the Father… he has lavished his love upon us. We are called the children of God. And that is who we are! - 1 John 1:3

Do you really know who you are? Have you forgotten whom God has created you and called you to be? The Bible tells us that we are part of an eternal story. God’s story. As part of that story, we have been created to reflect God Himself. We are His representatives in our world. You and I have huge personal value because we have had our lives cast in the mold of a loving, personal, powerful and holy God. The very characteristics that belong to God, such as dignity, rest, love, creativity, depth of relationships, truthfulness and persistence, among many others, have been graciously imparted to us.

You are not an accident. You are a person who has been spoken into existence out of love and for a purpose. The powerful image of God forming Adam from the dirt of the earth and then blowing the breath of life into his lifeless shell is one that should stick in our minds and hearts daily. This, in contrast to the daily messages we receive through advertising, television, magazines and the reality of life that we don’t measure up. YESH! I say again the reality of life that we don’t measure up.

Today, we each have choices to make. Will we listen to the voices of culture that want to convince us of our worthlessness? Will we give in to pressures that want to keep us constantly searching for our worth through products or programs? Or, will we listen to the voice of the One who knows each of us by name and has intimately called us His own? If you are like me, the choice, though obvious, is a difficult one to make. But I challenge myself with this difficult task. I choose to, I want to. My own free will. The very narrow gate that it’s so hard to squeeze into. Im happy with my choice. Today, be a person who responds to the God of love. Remember who you are! This I share with you.

February 16th, 2006 by janice-celia

you are what you think

You Are What You Think

October 10th, 2005 by janice-celia

A poem from an unknown Author

————————————————————————————–

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win, but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.
If you think you will lose, you are lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will;
It’s all in the state of mind.
For many a race is lost
Before even a step is run,
And many a coward fails
Before even his work is begun.
Think big and your deed will grow,
Think small and you will fall behind.
Think that you can and you will-
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You have got to think high to rise.
You have got to be sure of yourself
Before you win a prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

- Author Unknown

————————————————————————–

Got it somewhere.. kinda good poem dont you think?

blogging again

Used to have a blog in friendster and untouched for almost a year since 2008. I will just copy and paste my previous blogs to this site for starters. Since im no longer active in friendster. Somehow friendster is pack with majority of what I call 'lalas' or 'siput', so out I go.

Friendster out - Facebook IN